Important wakeboarding tips...

1. Loading lots of wakeboards onto your wakeboarding rack, regardless of whether you use them on not, makes you look hella-cool.
2. If you catch a back edge so hard that you suspect you’ll have permanent back problems for the rest of your life, get back up immediately and catch a front edge…not only will it straighten everything back out, it will amuse your friends.
3. All those hella-cool flips that they make look really easy on my Higher Education wakeboarding instruction video…aren’t.
4. If you get a new rider who yells out ‘OK’ to signal that he’s ready to be pulled, even though he’s facing backwards, sideways or has the rope wrapped around his neck three times, it never stops being funny to imitate him every chance you get.
5. Those cheap orange life preservers can be tied around your thighs so that you can float around in the water and drink your beer at the same time.
6. When you’re floating around in the water with those cheap orange life preservers tied around your thighs and you ask your buddy on the boat to toss you another beer, make sure it’s a can, not a bottle, so that when they whip it at your head causing you to duck and miss the beer, it’ll float back up to the surface.
7. If one of your buddies is starting to get a lot better than you, pull them at 12 miles per hour so they don’t have enough speed to pull off cool tricks and swear up and down that you were pulling them at 21. You can always make up some excuse later like they must be hung-over and it just seems a lot slower or the speedometer must be broken or something.
8. Sex-lube works just as well as dish-soap for getting into your bindings only it smells a lot nicer when you crash so hard your board swings around behind you and kicks you in the back of the head.
9. Don’t let any of my friends drive the boat because they don’t pay attention when you’re waiting to get up and will drag you face-first through the water until they yank the rope right out of your hands, only to laugh at your ass when they realize what they just did.
10. Pulling off big tricks to impress your friends can be scary. Cranking really loud beats over your tubbies can help you get pumped up for big air. At a minimum, it'll muffle your screams when you crash badly. Some good scream-muffling tunes:

Prodigy, Smack My Bitch Up

Lyrics Born, Callin' Out

Anything on the Crystal Method Vegas CD

Groove Armada, Superstylin'